Friday 10 October 2008

Black, white and grey

Read [this] , then my comment in response, then the MSN conversation below (if you like. You can always navigate away from this page and read something else if you want, I'm not your mother.)

OddBabble says:
I've just left you another blog comment that doesn't make any sense
hoveactually says:
your comment made perfect sense!
I think it's hard to explain though, I might draw a diagram explaining the large space between the question and the answer
hoveactually says:
cos it's something that's pretty fundamental but few people seem to understand
OddBabble says:
It only recently occured to me

OddBabble says:
I've only just started to realise that everything is not in fact black and white
OddBabble says:
it is a complete revelation to me!
OddBabble says:
I've noticed that human beings don't fit very well into that

hoveactually says:
not really...
hoveactually says:
being complex and messy and not at all black and white...
hoveactually says:
there are a few things that are pretty concrete but the living out practise of them is very messy and grey
hoveactually says:
I think that's the problem, people see the concrete realities and assume they fit neatly into black and white lives.. they don't cos we're not like that...

OddBabble says:
Yes! That's exactly it!!
hoveactually says:
Yes!
hoveactually says:
why doesn't everyone know this though..?
OddBabble says:
I don't know! I certainly didn't until about 2 weeks ago!
OddBabble says:
I think actually it's because that is really uncomfortable
OddBabble says:
and you touched on it when you said that it's really comfortable for the person giving the answers out, to have an answer.
OddBabble says:
I know that cos I've been that person for a long time
OddBabble says:
I do think, actually, that I've treated other people as if they don't fit into the black and white stuff (I hope)
OddBabble says:
but I'm not very good at applying it to myself.
OddBabble says:
Actually, the statement about other people above is possibly bollocks.
hoveactually says:
I don't think so... I always think you are someone who knows about the mess

OddBabble says:
Well that's good if so...
OddBabble says:
may I give you an example?
hoveactually says:
go ahead!

OddBabble says:
so like, i can believe that something is WRONG
OddBabble says:
but
OddBabble says:
it's confusing when I oops, go and do it anyway, and find that oh, it actually seems quite life-enhancing, positive and beautiful.
OddBabble says:
Going by a philosophy that everything is black and white means that I must have been wrong about the WRONG bit.
OddBabble says:
but
actually, the WRONG bit is black and white, it's just that it doesn't deny that there are experiencially grey bits.
hoveactually says:
yes!

OddBabble says:
oh phew, I'm glad that makes sense!
hoveactually says:
which we don't really factor in in our discipleship talks/seminars/onetoones/hanging out with people
hoveactually says:
because it takes longer to talk about the realities rather than the simple packaged answer
hoveactually says:
and the realities are only learnt over many years of struggle
hoveactually says:
we've kind of lost the long term nature of life and God along the way i think...

OddBabble says:
Yes, and actually I think the result of that can be potentially spiritually dangerous for the hearers. Because experiencing the experiencially grey bits does make you doubt the black and white stuff you heard, and some people conclude that the world must all therefore be grey, so let us go forth and enjoy the freedom of its many shades!
hoveactually says:
yeah!
hoveactually says:
and lots of people throw out the black and white on the grounds that we can't be certain about anything, cos they've been burnt by the people who are way way to certain about EVERYTHING.
OddBabble says:
YES
hoveactually says:
sigh. the reality lives somewhere inbetween
hoveactually says:
dammit YES

OddBabble says:
haha

OddBabble says:
I think I'm going to blog this whole convo, after linking to your post. Do I have your permission?
hoveactually says:
yes please!
hoveactually says:
haha
hoveactually says:
I'm such a narcissitic one
OddBabble says:
Me too, but that's because I am wonderful.
hoveactually says:
lol
hoveactually says:
i think we should rule the world though

OddBabble says:
yes!
OddBabble says:
You, me and Witsy
hoveactually says:
brilliant!
hoveactually says:
it's such a good plan
hoveactually says:
nothing could go wrong
OddBabble says:
Nothing. That is a black and white fact.